Oh, what a mess

Mon, 10 Nov 2008 07:32:35 GMT

Posted via Pixelpipe.

Sun, 09 Nov 2008 06:16:40 GMT

wonder girls

nobody nobody but you~

wonder girls

nobody nobody but you~

Posted via Pixelpipe.

Mash Game: Predict Your Future at eSPIN-the-Bottle

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 12:39:40 GMT



		I will marry Shim Changmin.
		After a wild honeymoon, We will settle down in Paris in our fabulous Shack.
		We will have 21 kid(s) together.
		Our family will zoom around in a Pink Lamborgini.
		I will spend my days as a Actress, and live happily ever after.

ZOMG! :D

Mon, 05 May 2008 12:23:29 GMT

What kind of Day at School would you have with DBSK? [Fic] by Melody
Melody
Name/Username
You walk to school with	Max
In front of the school, you see...	Micky
Coming to school by...	Car
He...	Runs over to greet you
In homeroom the person who walks in late is...	Hero
You greet him. He...	Greets you and asks for your number
Later that day, in your pocket you find...	Money
From...	Max
You...	Smile
You go to your locker but find...	Micky stealing your belongings
You ask what he's doing, he...	says "What does it look like?"
You both end up going to the caf. together and see	Max
He...	Asks to sit with him for lunch
You...	Reject him
You sit down with the person/people with you but..	Max
and...	Xiah
start to...	fight for the seat next to you
You return to your locker...	Feeling like beating someone up
You find a love note in your locker from...	Hero
You...	Smile
In your last class...	Yunho
Asks	"Can I cheat off your test?"
You answer...	Sorry, no
At the end of the day outside...	Hero
Asks...	"Wanna go out?"
You answer...	Are you insane?
He some how ends up walking you home and...	Suddenly embraces you saying "I love you"
After, you say...	"I've always loved you."
Suddenly the other DBSK members pop out saying...	We'll fight. Winner get's her
THEY FIGHT! The person left standing is...	Hero
He walks you home, but yells at the other guys...	Sorry Hyungs...
You both are now standing at your door. He...	Gives you a peak on the cheek
When you're inside, you...	Call all your friends about your day
You thought this quiz was...	COOL!!!

Thu, 03 May 2007 14:51:47 GMT

Little mermaid, I cannot heed

Lessons of love in thy lonely songs

Spread by wind by boat and sea

To all merry-eyed maidens such as we.

Evanescent Prince of Light

Thou watch from thy naked sea

Shining in glory, basking in might

Whist thee pines in reverie.

Little mermaid, thy tragic prose

Hath touched a queue of lovelorn fools

Seductive masochist why dost thou spare

The life of thy beloved fair?

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:59:05 GMT

Back in school, and just finished the geog selection test.
Am quite sure it's kinda screwed cos I totally forgot all about the points in my human population essay. ):
and i just received news that drama has been cancelled, and i was "!!!!!" for a moment cos i have loads of time from 9:30 to 3:00 to spare. haha. at least the logistics people are coming down, so i shall decide to be nice and help them out. ((:

the j2s are having their PTM now, and i see loads of parents and 'terrified'-looking kids. haha.
oh well, and i see people waiting outside the office waiting to meet the principle or vp. well, wish them the luck anyway, even though i do not know them.

will be going for CIP for the first time this year, with my ex-class, to some childcare in Chinatown. Hope it's something like the one i i did in sec 3. haha, marian said that the kids there are really very cute. lol.

oh, and yesterday's discussion with the printing company for the drama posters/tickets/programme have been quite successful.. (:
i really really can't wait for the posters to be out next wednesday! (: it's the drawing block - A3 size one. lol. yay yay yay.
feeling accomplished for being able to find that company, even though it's located in some MALE-ENVIRONMENT weird ulu-ated corner of toa payoh, in the industrial park. it's a weird sight to see 2 school girls loitering around the area. and it's scary, k.

well well well
so much to do, so little time!
i need to buck up on stuffs!

Thu, 12 Apr 2007 05:51:31 GMT

Am having PW lessons now, and I'm not really sure if I'm supposed to do my PI research like the rest of my classmates are doing now. (cos my teacher told me that I don't need to hand in my PI. heh) And I've ventured back into the Neopets Era. Not a bad thing actually, I can relive the old primary school days. (:

I'm lazy to go down for the Geog cambridge selection this saturday now. I don't even think I'd make the cut cos this year's batch of J1s seems to capable... and all. blahhh. and it's essay selection somemore, don't think i'll get in already la.

everyday has been raining. ):
is this supposed to be a good or bad thing? it's quite emo-ey. like yesterday, i stayed in my dad's car and watched the tv, while it was raining very heavily outside. sounds really cosy right? heh. and then suddenly, the car just jerked, as though someone kicked the car from the back. it then continue for awhile, and looked at the rear (i know the meaning now, k). there was no one.
note: I AM ALONE IN THE CAR. i thought it was some.......... ya.
but it just turned out that my dad forgot the switch the gear off something. he insisted that i could have died, and that he has to pay for the motorcycles that was knocked down in the way. (with more emphasis on the motorcycles)

and publicity team is such an exciting com. ha ha.
went to arab street during cca yesterday for cloth supplies, and went PLUCK to get ice cream! :D ahhh. heavenly.
and i'm awaiting for next tuesday with open arms COS it's Ben & Jerry's free cone day! ((((((:

life's starting to get stagnant again.
and i'll have to insist that happiness is ALWAYS short lived in my case.
WHYY. am i SOOO invisible? ):

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 05:46:46 GMT

It's Chinese period now. (:
and I'm in the library - working quite hard - while waiting for Marian and Amanda.
Our beads and charms and random stuffs spree today!

Well, school work is beginning to pile up,
and I'm getting lazy again.. (but with the mindset of wanting to work hard k! )

anyway.. on to the more exciting stuffs that are about to happen. :D
(i know I've written this on my other blog)

CJC's having a GREAT AWESOME performance -
Billy Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream (:
it's on the 2nd of June, with 2 shows:
3:00pm (Matinee) and 7:30pm
Please come, alright!
I'm very sure it's soo different and much more 'WOW' than SRT & TJ's one. (-sinks into chair-)
Different intepretions la.
The publicity sector's working ultra hard to get the pretty posters & brochures & cards up soon! :D
you can just reserve tickets already.

i'm starting to love life again.
regardless of whatever.

Sat, 10 Mar 2007 09:14:05 GMT

I'm feeling blue today.
Why am I always at the losing end?

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 14:15:25 GMT

Go get a life.
You won't bring me down.

Wed, 17 Jan 2007 14:09:47 GMT

_{Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit}

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

Thu, 04 Jan 2007 14:37:03 GMT

"lets play a game of whose life sucks the most."
I'll win.
I always win

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 14:15:49 GMT

Met Samjoy today. (:
Did loads of catching up - nearly 6 months worth.
Fussing over each other's hair (Sam, your's nice please),
planning on how to transfer each other's hair over and concaved ____.
Bought tickets for Night at the Museum and
they only had the FRONT ROW seats left.
It was freaking full house. lol.
and sadly, we took the seats. My neck almost died. haha.
the show is damn freaking hilarious. lol.
i really don't mind watching it again and again and again.
had loads of fun today (:
will see you again in Feb 07 for CNY, Samjoy! (:
and your other younger half. -.-

(sidetrack: there is something freaking wrong with my internet connection)

-------------------------------------------------------
and i think i'm really hopeless and stupid.
waiting, tearing, depressed, elated, sacrificing so much,
only to realise it isn't making my situation better.
some people getting affected by my crazy and silly moodswings.
sorry, i guess i hadn't been a great friend.
lol. my life rocks, seriously...
emily, please get a grip.
at least i have my other favourite peopleS on earth! (:
yay.

and i'm busy wrapping post christmas/new year gifts.
i'm so nice. (:

Blue Blue Christmas

Sat, 23 Dec 2006 17:12:40 GMT

Ups and Downs.
My life's kinda like the pit, lots of holes.
Right. Trying to get a move on, dumping the past and getting prepared for the new year ahead.
So far, life's kinda emo-fied. The weather, the people, the things, the problems...
Doesn't really add much to the festive mood either.

It's really difficult to read someone's mind.
And i officially gave up on that. hah.
but otherwise, i can roughly get what you're trying to convey,
and i know who the inferior one is.
Me, i guess?

well. anyways, off to more optimistic stuffs.
I'm finally meeting JOLENE, EMILY AND SAMJOY!
and AN OUTING WITH MARIAN, AMANDA, ALI & (sam?)!
i wanna watch a night at the museum.. since god ages ago. (hahah)
and jolene insist on Curse of the Golden Flower. (HELLO! ME NO JAY CHOU FAN, yea.)
haha. or we can visit escape ya.
thinking of these makes my day! (:

well.
trying to finish watching It started with a kiss,
and the girl is so FREAKING PITIFUL!
lol. "walk away from him, will you. FOUR YEARS! rahhhh."
i. need. the. whole. series. on. vcds. dvds. whatever.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some things I'll never know

Tue, 19 Dec 2006 12:45:31 GMT

When all those blue memories start hurting
You'll be doin' all right, with your Christmas of white
But I'll have a blue, blue Christmas

Some things I'll never know
And I had to let them go
I'm sitting all alone feeling empty

XOXOXO

Wed, 29 Nov 2006 16:00:44 GMT

Okay, I'm online now! (:
Today, met up with almost 3/5 of the people to slack.
(Sorry 2/3 of 1T35! I can't make it for chalet today. Sentosa! )
I love Time Crisis! (:
During dinner, my left hand was trembling and its aching can.
Haha. Involuntarily movements/spasm.
Oh, and did I say- I officially suck at pool.
And I got gray colour contacts! (:
My sister was against me taking blue (for ariel) or green (for harry potter).
rahh.

Serena and I were thinking of possible futures...
For more insight details, do look at our convo:

say that you love me say that you care says:
then go relax lor
say that you love me say that you care says:
take pics
say that you love me say that you care says:
breathe in nice air
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
lol. i got a new cam
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
okay, i shall be a photographer
say that you love me say that you care says:
ahhhhh
say that you love me say that you care says:
envious
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
you are welcome to join me, you know
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
lol
say that you love me say that you care says:
crazy?
say that you love me say that you care says:
go thailand?
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
hahah
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
ya
say that you love me say that you care says:
with ur family?
say that you love me say that you care says:
hahahhahhahahahhahah
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
funny meh?
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
we can go build another kampung, and invite the rest of spend there
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
and grow padi, be farmers
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
lol
say that you love me say that you care says:
grow padi
say that you love me say that you care says:
hard work
say that you love me say that you care says:
back breaking
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
we use machines la
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
we'll be SPEND - the PADI TYCOONS
say that you love me say that you care says:
LOL
say that you love me say that you care says:
LOL
say that you love me say that you care says:
LOL
say that you love me say that you care says:
then we all wear our peasnat hats and take photo
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
AHHH!
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
hahahahhahaha
say that you love me say that you care says:
Ok
say that you love me say that you care says:
hahhahahahaahahhah
say that you love me say that you care says:
pro dancers
say that you love me say that you care says:
hahahha
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
-in deep thought, looking skeptical-
say that you love me say that you care says:
LOL
say that you love me say that you care says:
LOL
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
i think... need a few lifetimes ya
say that you love me say that you care says:
touche
say that you love me say that you care says:
pro
say that you love me say that you care says:
pr
say that you love me say that you care says:
pro
say that you love me say that you care says:
pro liars
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
you can't spell (:
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
heehee
say that you love me say that you care says:
i stammer
say that you love me say that you care says:
hahhahah\
emily ★    the nobodies. says:
pro liars, woaaahhhhh

and a long more, which i'm too lazy to put up.
come to think of it, the above convo is damn random. ):
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

sigh.
i'm trying to finish the show by friday.
haha. and feeling so 'inspired' by it, ya.
just updating for the sake of it.

and stefanie!
baybeats auditions on 20th jan! :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been wandering around the house all night
wondering what the hell to do
Yeah, I'm trying to concentrate but all I can think of is you

i really. really. do.

A Revelation For Despair

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 15:41:54 GMT

Met Natalie this morning when I reached school.
Lol. She braided her hair! :D
Funkyy!

Anyway, I've been super busy reading as much books as I can (geek, ya)
and playing Kingdom Hearts II - attempting to reach Atlantis/Atlantica (dunno what it is)
before Friday cos I want to see Ariel! :D This game is super addictive,
i really need to finish it before school starts. ROXAS!
On yee, i'm getting to emotionally attached to the characters..
you know when Roax disappeared and Sora woke up, i was 'devastated' to a certain extent.
And Serena!!! I really love the show! ):
Dangg. Haha, the scenes on the buses are like (wthhh)..
I think I'm going to get the show now and perhaps bring it to my grandma's house.
Yes, sam sim, i still remember you saying about how I'm disconnected from the rest of the world
at my kampong place thingy.... I shall bring some shows/drama and have drama marathons while sitting on the hammock.
This is life, man. (:

I've been also writing letters. (:
So much things to do, yea. Haha.
and its my Sister's 13th Birthday today!
(: Love her to bits. Yay.

Found some quizzes on Serena's blog,
Click on if you want to read my answers.
(:

THE RULES:
BOLD the statements that are true to you. ITALISE the statements that you wish are true. leave the Fibs alone. then; stab five people to do the same test and leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she has been tagged.

i miss somebody right now.
i don't watch tv these days.
i wear glasses or contact lenses.
i love to play video games.
i've tried marijuana.
i have be in a threesome.
i have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
i believe honesty is usually the best policy.
i curse sometimes
i have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
i carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
i'm totally smart.
i've broken someone's bones.
i'm paranoid sometimes.
i would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, f.o.c and scar-free. (lol)
i need money right now.
i love sushi.
i talk really, really fast.
i have long hair. (mine's long or short?)
i have lost money in Las Vegas.
i have at least one sibling.
i have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
i couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
i like the way i look.
i have a lot of mood swings.
i have a hidden talent.
i'm always hyper no matter how much sugar i have.
i have a lot of friends.
i am currently single.
i have pecked someone of the same sex.
i enjoy talking on the phone.
i practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
i love to shop.
i would rather shop then eat.
i don't hate anyone.
i'm a pretty good dancer.
i'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
i have a cell phone.
i believe in God.
i watch MTV on a daily basis.
i have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
i have rejected someone before.
i have no idea what i want to do for the rest of my life.
i have changed a diaper before.
i've called the cops on a friend before.
i'm not allergic to anything
i have a lot to learn.
i've been with someone at least 10 years older or younger.
i am shy around the opposite sex.
i have tried alcohol before.
i have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
i own the "South Park" movie.
i would die for my best friends.
i think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
i have used my sexuality to advance my career.
i love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
Halloween is fun because you get candy. (yay!)
i watch Spongebob Squarepants and i like it.
i am happy at this moment.
i'm obsessed with guys
i have more than just my eyes pierced. (NOOO...)
i walk barefoot wherever i can.
i have jumped off a bridge.
i love sea turtles.
i spend ridiculous money on makeup.
i plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
i'm proficient in a musical instrument.
i've worked at McDonald's restaurant.
i hate office jobs.
i love sci-fi movies.
i think water rules.
i went college out of state
i like sausages.
i love kisses.
i fall for the worst people.
i adore bright colours.
i can't live without black eyeliner.
i don't know why the hell i just did this stupid thing.
i usually like covers better than originals.
i can pick up things with my toes.
i can't whistle.
i can move my tongue in waves.
i have ridden/owned a horse.
i still have every journal I've ever written in.
i can't stick to a diet.
i talk in my sleep. (sometimes)
i try to forget things by drowning them with distractions. (sometimes)
climbing trees is a brilliant past-time. (when i was a kid)
i have jazz in my blood.
i wear a toe ring.
i have a tattoo.
i can't stand at LEAST one person that i work with.
i am a caffeine junkie.
i cosplay/know what cosplaying is.
i have been to over 15 conventions.
i will collect anything, and the more nonsensical the better.
i'm an artist.
i only clean my room when necessary.
i like a person of the same sex

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

1. How old do you wish you were? 15 , where i met my buddies and 'reunited' with Sam Joy. (:
2. Where were you when 9/11 happened? Home
3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Kick it.
4. Do you consider yourself kind? Sometimes, to my disadvantage.
5. If you had to get a tattoo, where would it be? never. lol
6. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be? Japanese
7. Do you know your neighbours? Yes
8. What do you consider a vacation? No stress, no troubles, and you get to enjoy life.
9. Do you follow your horoscope? I do. (: Seventeen horoscopes works for me.
10. Would you move for the person you love? I'll move with my friends and family.
11. Are you touchy-feely? Nope.
12. Do you believe that opposites attract? Magnets? Ya
13 .... er.. Serena, where did 13 go?
14. Favourite TV channels? MTV and Disney!
15. Favourite place to go on weekends? any place nice.
16. Showers or baths? any.
17. Do you paint your nails? Sometimes.
18. Do you trust people easily? too easily for my own good
19. What are your phobias? Alone, and being in the dark.
20. Do you want kids? yup.
21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? yes.
22. Where would you rather be now? Bed, sleeping.
23. Who makes you warm and fuzzy? TACKEY! or ________ yay!
24. Heavy or light sleeper? Super heavy. I get ridiculous dreams every night
25. Are you paranoid? quite
26. Are you impatient? Sometimes.
27. Who can you relate to? Sister?
28. How do you feel about interracial couples? ... cool?
29. Have you been burned by love? ouch.
30. What's your pick-up line? Hi! I'm a mermaid! (I'm kidding about it.)
31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? Super Mario Theme! :D Mr Foo..... lol
32. What were you doing at midnight last night?Kingdom Hearts II fighting for Hercs
33. What did the last text on your mobile say? yay! sure thing! :)
34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? Mine.
35. What colour shirt are you wearing? Light Blue.
36. Most recent movie you watched? Casino Royale
37. Name three things you have on at all times? Phone, Wallet, Mp3
38. What colour are your bedsheets? The colour of Ariel and the sea.
39. How much cash do you have right now? 34
40. What's your favourite part of the chicken? wings!
41.What's your favourite town/city? depends.
42. I can't wait till... i'll be able to do what i like, and travel around the world with my closest friends.
43. What did you have for dinner last night? Chili crabs!
44. How tall are you barefoot? 1.64
45. Do you own a gun? water gun, yes.
.46. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Ice Lemon Tea.
47. Where do you think you'll be in 10 years? In my penthouse, watching dramas and planning to shop later. HAHA.
49. What songs do you sing in the shower? depends.
50. Last thing that made you laugh? my sister wanting to bring kaya in her bag onto the plane. okay, maybe its not that funny, but i burst into laughter hearing that. ridiculous la.
51. Worst injury you ever had? slit on the chin.
52. Does someone have a crush on you? guess so. haitus sign.
53. What's your favourite candy? alot!
54. What song do you want played at your funeral? under the sea! i dunno la..
55. Eight people to do this? not applicable

5 months of waiting,
5 months of hurt.
Will it all come to an end?
Wait in vain?
Or should I turn my back and leave once and for all?

The Boy who broke my heart, yet again.

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 14:29:03 GMT

Went back to St Nicks yesterday! (:
Met alot of old faces and chatted about our schools and some other stuffs....
Some looked different, and some looked the same.. haha.
Thanks On Yee, for the Kingdom Hearts II game! <3
The first thing I did when I went home was straight to my PS2 console.
Now I know why you're hooked onto it!
I really do miss st nicks, now.

Right. And I met Natasha and Brandon today when I was out today.
Sheesh. the thoughts of not being with the rest of them hit me when I said hi.
My stupid eyes. Blasted.
And Pet Tan, thanks with lots and lots and lots of pink hearts! :D
I'll think about what you say, and try to..............

Getting very emotionally attached to everyone was a big no-no right from the beginning..
Hopefully, in the new year, I can move on and get over ALOT of things.
But I'll certainly miss those people who're close to me,
and (i know i sound really evil saying this, haha), GOOD RIDDANCE to those who drifted away/aren't close to me anymore.
seriously. i do not want to waste my tears over some people who take me for granted.
Lalala. I'm getting pissed off right now. Blasted thing.
and Tim just told me that we are in the SYF year. lol. he sure think positive.
Oh, and I'm getting hooked on tea already.

and my horoscope for the day (lol.):

In short
Don't want to go out? Go anyway, for at least an hour. If it's no good, go home.

Extended
There's a disconnection in your social group right now. Either everyone else wants to whoop it up and you don't feel like going out, or you're in a mood to paint the town red and you can't find anyone to go with you. Whatever the problem is, you're just going to have to go with what the majority rules and make the best of it. If you're the one who doesn't feel like going out, remember that sometimes forced socialization (wthh?) can end up being the very thing you need.

Pretty true for this whole week so far.
Seriously. But pity i only read it just, cos I'd have gone home much earlier today.

and i really want to say and write out some other things here.
but i can't. (:
so i'm going to have another, ahem, blog.
Rather than to delete this.. ):
ask me for it, if you want to know.

blasted heart,
if i can just rip you away, maybe it all won't hurt anymore.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of all the things I've believed in
I just want to get it over with
Tears form behind my eyes
But I do not cry
Counting the days that pass me by

I've been searching deep down in my soul
Words that I'm hearing are starting to get old
Feels like I'm starting all over again
The last three years were just pretend
And I said,

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that I can't live a day without you
Closing my eyes and you chase my thoughts away
To a place where I am blinded by the light
But it's not right

And it hurts to want everything and nothing at the same time
I want what's yours and I want what's mine
I want you
But I'm not giving in this time

Goodbye to you
Goodbye to everything I thought I knew
You were the one I loved
The one thing that I tried to hold on to

And when the stars fall
I will lie awake
You're my shooting star  ★

It's gonna be a long night, I know I'm going to lose this fight.

Tue, 21 Nov 2006 12:23:07 GMT

My friend called a moment ago, and said something which caused me to ponder.

"when you feel like giving up on something,
remember why you held on for so long."

I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision,
doing it for the sake of others or for myself.
Marian, thanks for the talk last night. Really appreciate it.
and Whoever's reading this, and is kind of in the same plight as me,
I hope that sentence above can let you look at things differently.

Perhaps, its hard to accept now for me.
Sorry if I get random moments of depressions.
I'm not mentally and emotionally strong enough, yea.
I really really want to be with you guys next year and mug for prelims & A's.
And I know, even though how much I wished and hoped..
it will never happen. What's done cannot be undone.
But I will not give up now that easily.
You all please revise for next year!
Go do your holiday homework.
Just give me time,
and I'll be back. (in a long while)

thanks Serena and Douglas.
For accompanying me today, and laughing at Daniel Craig's inproportionate body... etc. I had fun.
and to samantha joy, on yee , stef and </a></b></a>xunfazedx, for your words and thanks for talking to me.
Love all of you loads.

and I'll end this with a line
this made me laugh shitloads.
" The Light at the end of my tunnel turned out to be a train."
Seems like it happened to me now.
Hello, train. I guess I'm gonna have to journey with you, with no choice, for 365 days.

p/s: and to whoever who's glad that i'm in this state now. you've got your wish. now leave me alone. have fun next year.

Life for some time now has been somewhat depressing and you feel 'under the weather'. You are looking for a means by which you can escape from all the pressures of everyday life. But you must remember that the 'Past does not equal 'Tomorrow'. You are seeking a way to escape from all the trials and tribulations that oppress you at this time, but at least you haven't given up - if one pattern of behaviour doesn't seem to work then you'll change it for another.

You have a vivid imagination and this is good. Great inventors, explorers all had inventive, imaginative minds. Your friends and acquaintances may consider you over-imaginative and given to fantasy or day-dreaming. So what ? this is a part of your character and charm.

Most people are conditioned by their environment and you are no exception. You are an extremely emotional person - so much so that 'the wrong word' can lead you to tears. You feel other people's pain. You feel the need of sympathetic relationships and a pleasant work environment in order to develop and grow. You are an impulsive, loving individual with a great deal of inherent feeling.

As of late, you have been experiencing untold stress and this is a result of continuous frustration. You haven't been taking care of all your physical needs and it's beginning to show. It would seem that you have a need to find someone to whom you can really relate - someone perhaps whose standards are as high as your own. You want to be different - to be individualistic - to stand out from the common herd. Your inherent control of your sensual instincts is restricting your ability to give yourself to open up freely but this being on your own, being lonely, often makes you feel the need to give up some of your strict standards to surrender to the general flow - to be like everyone else; a part of the herd. Deep down you regard such instincts as weaknesses to be overcome. You would like to be loved or admired for yourself alone. You demand recognition and tender loving care.

quite accurate for me, yea. http://www.paulgoldinresearch.com/cg
from OnYee's LJ.

Emotional Overload.

Mon, 20 Nov 2006 13:24:03 GMT

For a moment, I thought I would be strong.
I thought I could handle and accept the fact.
But I really couldn't.

I may seem pathetic,
or even wallowing in depression.
I've never felt so alone, hopeless and helpless.
People tell me to look ahead, and its not the end of the world.
I understand, and appreciate it.
But the whole idea of being stuck in another year,
while seeing all your friends. ALL. go up and leave before you do.
Talks about being there and all.. i get it.
But you see, there's still a very high possibility of me being drifting away from you guys.
It will happen, sooner or later.
This is one of my biggest fears.
Not that I don't have any faith.
But I cannot put too much hope in anything anymore.
I'm afraid of getting all disappointed and affected all over again..

I know it will be a rough time ahead for me,
a long detour of 365 days.
However, I'm really happy for you guys- those who got promoted.
And I really hoped I was with you all, know,
looking at the new J1s entering, the passing of the sch badge to the juniors at the welcoming ceremony, going for breaks and all the lectures with your 2T__ classes, taking 2007 yearbook photos with your classes, and attending graduation.
I guess I'll have to wait 2 more years for that,
if my appeal can even get through in the first place.

Typing all these, reading each word, is giving me an emotional overload,
and i'm feeling very tired and worn out today.
However, I don't feel like turning in early, because I don't want time to pass too quickly,
and this year to end too fast either.
I wish i can just turn back time, and change the past.
And yes, I know its too late for any regrets now.
I'm disappointed in myself, for being in this current state.

I do try not to think about it,
but it just creeps back into the back of my mind.
And everything just flood back, i can just breakdown again.
I'm sorry friends, just go on without me.
But I seriously really really cannot take it. Not now, anyway.

I'm thankful that I have my friends,
throughout this whole ordeal. Showering me constantly with support and encouragement...
I'm forever grateful for the row people:

(Not that everyone would read this, and I don't expect a reply. I give thanks when its due.)

Marian, Amanda, Alicia, Sam & Huiren - I'll never forget our long toilet/water breaks, gossips, chinatown trips and really bad jokes and lame games during lectures and lessons. I'm glad I've met you guys, and bonded within such a short span of time. I really really appreciate you guys. Thanks for being in my life. <3 and thanks marian, for the talk just. I really wish to be your seating partner again, and play our 'counting-the-number-of-people-on-the-quad' in the morning game with you all. Guess you guys have to count the people on the track side, while I recruit new j1s to play it with me. you guys can also put up a photo frame of me and put it beside you guys in class so all the 6 row people can be together no matter what! hah. kidding la.

Alicia, Grace, Daniel, Daryl, Brandon, Vic - Thanks for being there for me. And trying to make me study. (: Will miss you guys. I'll miss making straw hearts, roses and stars in class. Miss seeing you guys playing bridge in class and taboo! Also, the retreat with you guys opened my mind, and made me look at things with a more different perspective. And daniel, thanks for the quote. it kinda helped in my life 'motto'.

Serena, Natalie Douglas, Roy, Pets, Kass, Binni & Tim - You guys added laughter into my dull life, and I'm really thankful that i've met each and everyone of you. Thanks for today, hopefully I didn't spoil the mood. I'm really glad you guys made an effort by standing by me. Thank you. Even though I can't join you guys up next year, i hope we'll still be as close as we are now.

Jolene, Emily, Stefanie, Zoeraine - Thanks for trying to cheer me up. I really hope to see you guys soon too.

i want to write more.
but i'm really too tired.
i'll really really miss 2006.
yes, its one of the best years ever.
Cos I've met you guys.

"its not the end of the world.."
sounds easy to accept and move on.
but trust me, it REALLY isn't.
i wish i could be as happy as the rest of you guys.

A Lonely September

Fri, 17 Nov 2006 08:28:14 GMT

I've started to draw for good. (:
Shall go into painting soon. (KIDDING. i cannot paint)
I want to save up for a wacom tablet!
Anyway, I'm going to work on my ariel colourings! :D



looks weird, i know. haha.
i'm bored at home. 
dreading MONDAY real badly.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sittin' here all by myself
just tryin' to think of something to do
Tryin' to think of something, anything
just to keep me from thinking of you
But you know it's not working out
'cause you're all that's on my mind
One thought of you is all it takes
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did
And you didn't mean to love me back

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself
that you're not the one for me
But the more I think, the less I believe it
and the more I want you here with me
You know the holidays are coming up
I don't want to spend them alone
Memories of Christmas time with you
will just kill me if I'm on my own, oh


Thanks Serena, 
you officially got me hooked to this song. (:

and Nat, we'll have Crystal Jade Lunch/Dinner soon! <3

Against The Wind

Thu, 16 Nov 2006 14:10:41 GMT

Yes, its the end of supp papers.
Sorry friends, I don't have good/bad news.
I really don't know.
I do not know what will happen if i would to fail.
Seems my dad already made some other plans for me.

Even though the exams are officially over,
things are not perking up for me.
I still have certain things to deal with.

Went to Kass' house after the paper,
and played a little DDR, and decided to emo around the pool.
Afterwhich, some people decided to be funny and
started to form an alliance against me.. which resulted in a '70% soaked' me.
Thanks, man. I'm suffering from muscle aches running away from you guys due to the fact I haven't been exercising for a long time.

and on to the highlight of the day:
the hilarious encounter with the blocked off roads just for Mr George W. Bush.
(hmm.. what does the W stands for?)
So long la. And when his limo passed, we caught a glimpse of him in the super SEHHH-ed mood.
Perhaps, Singapore was too small. (:

Gaming/Korean/Jap drama marathon tonight/day.
Shall stay up as long as i can today. :D

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

dear friends,
thanks for everything.
Appreciate it. <3

i drew this thingy okayyy.
I know it looks weird, but it's a 5min rush thingy.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Do you think, everything, everyone, is going mental, 
It seems to me that it's spiralling outta control and it's inevitable, 
Now don't you think, 
This time is yours, this time is mine, 
Its temperamental, 
It seems to me, we're on all fours, 
Crawling on our knees, 
Someone help us please 

Oh Jesus Christ almighty, 
Do I feel alright? No not slightly.

Oh yeah, I'm fine, 
Everything's just wonderful, 
I'm having the time of my life. 

Don't you want something else, 
Something new, than what we've got here, 
And don't you feel it's all the same, 
Some sick game and it's not insincere, 
I wish I could change the ways of the world, 
Make it a nice place .

[edit]
i don't usually say this,
but i'm SERIOUSLY VERY PISSED OFF!
RAHHH.

The Littlest Things

Wed, 15 Nov 2006 06:58:30 GMT

Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too.

The littlest things that take me there
I know it sounds lame but its so true
I know its not right, but it seems unfair
That the things are reminding me of you
Sometimes I wish we could just pretend
Even if for only one weekend
So come on, Tell me
Is this the end?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

such back back backstabber.


 good luck, friends.
for tomorrow.
(:

Good Morning, Night

Tue, 14 Nov 2006 02:52:41 GMT

2 more days to Math.
1 more day to study it.

Oh well.
Hopefully, its MANAGEABLE FOR ME, please.

and bon voyage to those who went on the kahang trip today. :P
(: by the time you guys return, I'm a free girl! :D
We can go for our chinatown/arab street and weird places outings!
and our delayed slumber party, yea.

i'm so going to pamper myself silly after 16th,
but before the 20th. (:
--------------------------------------------------------

My life's so far from a fairytale,
Why is life unpredictable?

Six months and there's no difference,
Six months and there's no hope.

Looking out my window at the winter,
Thinking of my father and my home.
My life's so far from a fairytale,
Why is life unpredictable?

Tired and tired and tired and tired of hoping,
Waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for no-one.

Crying and crying and crying and crying for nothing,
Staying and staying and staying and staying here hoping.

If Only

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 03:40:46 GMT

If only you could glimpse the feeling that I feel
If only you would notice while I’m dying to reveal
The dreams I can’t declare, the needs I can’t deny
You’d understand them all if only you would try

All my secrets, you would learn now
All my longings, you’d return them
All my shambles, they’d be broken
Not a word would need be spoken

If only it were true, if only for a while
If only you would notice how I ache behind my smile

I guess you never will, I guess it doesn’t show
But if I never find a way to tell you so
Oh, what would I give if only you could know

What would I give to live where you are
What would I pay to stay here beside you
What would I do to see you smiling at me
Where would we walk, where would we run
If we could stay all day in the sun
Just you and me
And I could be
Part of your world

I've got the concept cast recording tracks! :D
LOVE!
Now, I really really want to catch the little mermaid broadway musical!
RAHHHH.